Change and growth have been constants in BENEE’s life since her 2020 debut album, Hey u x. For starters, the New Zealand artist born Stella Rose Bennett moved to Los Angeles which, she tells Apple Music, “definitely changed the way I make music, because I had to find different collaborators. It challenged me in a lot of ways.” She also points out that, at 25, her frontal lobes have now fully developed. “I feel I’m thinking about a lot deeper and bigger questions,” she starts. “I read Stephen Hawking’s book, Brief Answers to the Big Questions, and that was a bit of a wake-up. Like, damn, I want to think about science. I want to think about what’s going on in this crazy world. I also want to think about the fantastical side of things, this ethereal, creative world. I have this theme of childlike wonder throughout the album.” That dichotomy is reflected in the album’s title. “Ur an Angel is this ethereal idea of this world that we don’t know about,” she explains. “What is an angel? Is it make-believe? That’s the ethereal side of it all, the creative side. Then, when I think of particles, I just think of science. That’s more, this is what’s going on right here. There are some big contrasts like that in the album, where it’s like emptiness, euphoria, and playing with all those themes in each song.” BENEE’s initial vision for her second album was to make a hyperpop record, but she ended up pursuing a more organic, quirky collection of sophisticated alternative pop, replete with moments of adrenaline-fueled catharsis (“Off the Rails”), summery reggae (“Sad Boiii”), and Auto-Tune-treated R&B pop (“Princess”). “I didn’t think the music I was making in that hyperpop space was going to stand out amongst the art that already existed in that world,” she says. “So I pivoted and was like, ‘I need live instruments and I want it to sound organic.’” Here, BENEE takes Apple Music through Ur an Angel I’m Just Particles, track by track. “Demons” “That song’s about feeling like I’m being taken over by a demon with my anxiety, because sometimes I will obsess over an idea that something is happening, like maybe my partner’s cheating on me. And it might be one of my intrusive thoughts, because I’ve got OCD, so I think that has a big play in it. The ‘Call a cab, I am broken’ [opening line] is a nice way to paint the scene. It’s so relatable when something’s up and you just want to leave. I don’t want to stay out and pretend like I’m having a good time when I am being overwhelmed by emotion.” “Cinnamon” “When I first got to LA it was a bit of a shock to the system. I was missing all my friends and family. Then I bumped into a couple of people that kind of took advantage of my naivety. A lot of the song is about that. In the chorus, there’s this weird sense of acceptance, just knowing that you have to go with the flow and ride the wave. You just have to be kind and grounded and know who you are and hope that that attracts the right kind of people.” “Vegas” “I almost married my current boyfriend in Vegas when I was on tour. We were both there and were like, ‘Should we get married?’ But then I was like, ‘We should think this through.’ My mum was like, ‘No, you can’t get married without me there.’ Then his sister was saying something about the planets, that it’s a weird time to do it. So, I was taking both of the hints and I was like, ‘I don’t know what’s going on here, but I am going to take that as a sign.’” “Sad Boiii” “I wanted it to have that organic New Zealand sound of music that I kind of grew up on. It does have a hint of reggae. I was writing it about being in a relationship with a guy where I kind of felt like I had been tricked, because I thought that he was this really nice, normal guy. He ended up being really emotionally not stable. It was super taxing on me. And I was just like, ‘I’m done with people getting into relationships who don’t fix themselves first or aren’t willing to put that effort in, because it is so not fair to the other person.’” “Prey4U” “It’s pretty sassy. I was more writing about something that didn’t happen, like someone cheating on me, which is a fear of mine. It’s this weird toxic obsession kind of song, where someone has betrayed me and after they’ve done that, I feel a bit helpless. The double entendre with ‘Prey4U’ is I’m saying, ‘I’m eating your heart when it’s over.’ I don’t have to write about anything that is even necessarily true, but there’s a strong vibe there that I can relate to.” “Chainmail” “I was going for dark and emo. When someone is hating on me, there’s not a lot that I see now that I haven’t read before. So I kind of feel somewhat immune, even though it obviously still hurts to be criticized. I think it was kind of my reaction or way to deal with that, saying that you can’t hurt me because I am made of chainmail.” “Doomsday” “I was inspired by this doomsday clock installation in New York [the New York Climate Clock in Union Square], which basically says this is how much time you’ve got to save the planet from collapsing. I was writing this story that I was going to meet up with someone that I love before the world felt like it was going to end. So, painting this kind of serene scape of, I’m going to meet this person by a lake. In the hook it’s [saying], ‘I’m just what I am. And I feel like I’m complicated.’” “Underwater” “It sounds like it should be like a club, upbeat, happy vibe. But then it’s about feeling like you’re underwater, which is like depression—feeling like you can’t get your head out of the water or you can’t hear a lot because everything is kind of muted. I think that that’s a numbness that you feel when you’re going through something.” “Off the Rails” “I worked with two female producers—Luka [Kloser] and Elvira [Anderfjärd] are incredible. And the sound is so intense and angry. I think that really was just the breakdown point of this album, where I was like, ‘I’ve done the obsessed, I’ve done the chaos, I’ve done every emotion. But now I just feel feminine rage and I’m ready to scream in a song.’” “Animal” “I felt really inspired by looking down [from an aeroplane window] and everything looking like ants. If you zoom out or zoom into anything, it’s just infinite particles and microorganisms. I think that is so fascinating and can really take you out of overthinking things because you’re like, ‘Actually, does it matter?’ Problems that can seem so huge, if you think about it for long enough, if you can get yourself out of that, you can just laugh about it.” “Princess” “I was trying to capture this kind of feminine, baddy, ethereal vibe of stepping into a party and kind of hyping myself up, which is not always how I feel at all. When I walk into a room full of people, I’m normally kind of the opposite. But there’s also this weird possessiveness that takes over me sometimes when I’m like, ‘Wait, is my partner checking out that person too much?’ But also I was just saying I’m raving in elegance. And I was just talking a bunch of made-up stuff, but it was fun to live in that vibe.” “Heaven” “I wrote the song when my grandad passed away, which was a big deal because I was very close with him. But also knowing that he was 94 and had lived a really full but complicated life, he would always be like, ‘Oh, I’m ready to go.’ He was always really funny and had a weird childlike wonder about him where he was so youthful. But I found that quite beautiful when he passed, just knowing that he was happy to go. I’m afraid of dying, so I kind of found it to be a weird sense of peace.”