“The last five years have been incredibly messy and beautiful,” says the singer of her first album in eight years. “The last five years have been incredibly messy and beautiful all at once,” New Zealand singer-songwriter Gin Wigmore tells Apple Music. “I wanted to capture everything. I could have very easily let this record just be this upbeat, rock ’n’ roll, messy part. But it really needed to tell the full story. It needed the beautiful part, all those Americana, country-leaning, storytelling tracks.” Wigmore’s first album in eight years is informed by her split from her husband, letlive./FEVER 333 vocalist Jason Aalon Butler. Citing Lily Allen’s West End Girl as inspiration for the record’s chronological tracklisting, Beautiful Mess traverses the lead-up to their separation, the emotional fallout of the split, and Wigmore’s return home from Los Angeles with her two children. Divided into two halves, the first (“Beautiful”) leans into Wigmore’s love of Americana and country, with the other (“Mess”) harnessing rock ’n’ roll to capture the trauma and aftershocks of the split. Here, the singer talks Apple Music through Beautiful Mess, track by track. “Country Diamond” “It takes me back to that first crush—when you realise you are capable of these feelings. I wanted to have this country lean on it because I was listening to Tammy Wynette and I loved the way she handled storytelling.” “Our Street” “We all remember the street we grew up on. To me it was a safe place. I wanted to be back on that street. I wanted to be a kid again. If I was to look at what was going on in my life, it’s because I don’t like where I’m at and I’m wanting to go back and start again. In writing songs like that I think I was getting myself prepared for having to go back to the beginning.” “Tip of My Tongue” “It’s the most desperately cruel experience when you can’t figure out how to love someone the way they need to be loved. There were so many moments in my marriage with Jason that I couldn’t figure out what to do. All I wanted was to make him happy and to love him the way he needed to be loved. And I just couldn’t figure out that equation.” “Hollywood” “I was in LA for 13 years. There’s hundreds of thousands of people wanting the exact same dream as you. You’ve got to be hyper confident all the time, but sometimes you just want to crawl into your mum’s arms. But you’ve got to keep this brave face because if you call your mum up, she’ll go, ‘Well, just come home, darling.’ But you can’t. You’ve worked too hard. And I think that’s what ‘Hollywood’ is about—I have this purpose that I need to see out.” “Die on This Porch” “I spent so many months in Nashville, in that hot, humid weather, sitting out on the porch, having a mint julep or a whisky. And the one you love, [if] they’re not there anymore that whole experience is fucked. It’s gone. It takes two of you to sit there rocking and having that little moment. If they’re not there, it’s painfully sad.” “Well Well” “It’s sort of like c’est la vie. It’s another day and it might be less fucked. Having that c’est la vie attitude, I think that’s important when you’re going through extreme hardships.” “Beautiful Mess” “That was my thoughts bouncing around my brain and going, ‘Oh, fuck. The writing’s on the wall. I’ve seen people go through this. It’s never good. I’ve got two kids. I live in America. I want to be in New Zealand. What am I going to do? I don’t know.’ It was a massive explosion of big-bang thoughts. That was how I wanted to represent it production-wise. That unpredictability, not knowing what’s going to happen next.” “Stuck Inside a Dream” “I was trapped in nightmares of like, ‘When am I going to do this? When am I going to leave?’ Crying myself to sleep and you just go, ‘When the fuck is this nightmare over?’ I needed the music to be my support crew going, ‘You’ve got this.’ Even though I felt very little and trapped in this horrible place, I needed to make myself appear big so I had the courage to leave. I think that was ‘Stuck Inside a Dream’.” “Rodeo” “I was looking at these [dating] apps and I was like, ‘Fuck, that just seems horrific.’ I’d rather have this painful, glamorous cowboy death than go down the road of fucking Tinder or some shit like that. I was like, ‘You know what? I can’t do that. So I’m just going to get a farm with dogs and that’s going to be me.’” “Strangelove” “Dating someone after being married, it’s strange. It’s not like when you’re dating a 20-year-old and you’re both fumbling around in the dark for which goes where. This person knows what to do and they’ve done things and you are exposed to things. It’s strange love. And it’s me being curious. I’m just like, ‘Whoa, put me in coach!’ This is so cool and different.” “I Like It” “That was me coming back into my power of like, ‘I’m feeling good now. I’m feeling strong. I can put out this record. My shit’s coming together. I can see clearly. I have a purpose again.’” “Here Come the Girls” “That’s a call to action for the girls. Without your girls, it would be a very lonely, horrible place. And I think it’s important that we retain that sisterhood. We need lots of songs for women, about women, to show how fucking dope we are.”