‎I'm Sorry (You're Welcome) by Eugene Mirman on Apple Music

Disc 1

Introduction, a Gift From Derrick

3:31

Some Jokes That Have To Do With My Girlfriend, a Hotel in Boston, a Man in Provincetown, Twitter, Time Vs. Timing, a Neck Pillow

5:00

Sub Pop Showcase At SxSW

1:56

Ask a Pastor

3:03

Some Jokes That Touch Upon Religion, Guitar Center

3:04

A LinkedIn Profile

2:39

The Time I Was Mugged In Mexico With Michael Stipe

5:48

Girlfriend, Khaleesi, Any Questions, Making a ‘Zine

3:50

Contacting Celebrities On Facebook

4:18

Not Happy With a Parking Ticket I Got In Portsmouth, NH

7:59

Paintings I Made To Showcase At My Local Whole Foods

2:29

I Marry a Couple From the Audience On Stage

7:05

Disc 2

Welcome To the Meditation, Please Get Comfortable

3:22

The Body

2:26

Feet & Legs

1:55

Tummy, Doodle & Hoo-Hoo

2:54

Heart

2:54

Throat, Arms & Hands

2:41

Head

1:51

Thank You Body, Simple Ways To Relax

3:14

Introduction

0:16

Horse

0:04

Horse Galloping

0:07

Horse III

0:08

Duck

0:04

Duck II

0:08

Dog

0:05

Cat

0:07

Cat Purring

0:09

Cat Asking For Directions

0:09

Two Sheep Arguing

0:10

Mice Making Fried Rice

0:06

Bear

0:04

Wolf

0:07

Fox Embarrassed About His Boner

0:07

Giraffe Sleeping

0:08

Turtle

0:04

Turtle II

0:09

Chicken Prostitue Haggling

0:13

Shark

0:05

Toilet Flushing

0:08

Blender

0:08

Automatic Door Opening

0:06

Doorbell

0:04

Alarm Clock

0:06

Frying Pan Sizzle

0:08

Teapot Whistle

0:09

Dishwasher Running

0:08

Telephone Ringing

0:07

Telephone Falling On the Ground

0:09

Shower Running

0:08

Crackling Fire

0:09

VCR Ejecting a Tape

0:06

Group of Businessmen Agreeing

0:18

Baby Locked In a Dresser

0:09

Fart

0:04

Long Fart

0:06

Fart III

0:09

Little Girl Crying

0:12

Man Walking In Boots

0:12

Screaming Man

0:05

Screaming Woman Who Sounds Like a Man

0:07

TV Audience Clapping At Food

0:11

Drum Circle

0:14

Rave

0:10

Last Guy At a Rave

0:09

Train

0:06

Steam Engine

0:07

Neon Sign

0:08

Motorcycle

0:07

Scanning an Item

0:04

Feeling For a Ripe Avocado

0:06

Jihadist After Seeing About a Boy

0:07

Jack-In-The-Box

0:08

Jigsaw Puzzle

0:06

Fire Truck

0:06

Video Game

0:05

Italian Person Eating a Pizza Pie

0:07

Naturalized Immigrant Doing a Job You Are Unqualified For

0:10

Abortion Doctor Enjoying a Candy Bar

0:10

Grand Wizard Can’t Find a Sock

0:06

Powerful Senator

0:09

Powerful Senator II

0:11

Fighter Plane

0:06

Ambient Noise In an Airplane

0:12

Airplane Flying

0:10

Police Siren

0:07

Police Siren In Europe

0:08

Police Siren In Belgium

0:08

Gun Shot

0:04

Machine Gun

0:05

.357 Magnum Inside a Watermelon

0:11

Gays In the Military

0:06

Thunder

0:05

Rain

0:10

Hurricane

0:10

Blizzard

0:09

Snowing

0:11

Sentient Robot Going About His Daily Business

0:14

Computer Downloading a File

0:10

New Email

0:04

Traffic

0:11

Kids Playing In the Park

0:14

Kids Playing In the Park II

0:10

Spaceship Flying

0:10

Spaceship Crashing

0:07

Going To Warp Speed

0:06

Alien Supermarket

0:18

Laser Gunfire

0:11

Someone Controlling Technology By Waving Their Hands

0:14

Ronald Reagan Taking a Shower

0:09

Tacos

100

0:05

Fur Coat Getting F****d By a Bunch of Cats

101

0:12

Tree Falling In a Forest

102

0:09

Jewish Person Saying “Oy Vey” Wrong

103

0:08

Summertime

104

0:07

People Being Diligent At an Ad Agency

105

0:10

Helicopter

106

0:06

Living Helicopter Complaining

107

0:10

Chinese Woman Eating Lasagna

108

0:11

Hero Returning From a Budweiser Commercial

109

0:10

Elephant Having Trouble

110

0:10

One of Those People On the Street Who Tries To Get Money

111

0:13

Telephone Calling a Toaster

112

0:13

Grasshopper Asking a Dog a Question

113

0:15

Shortwave Radio

114

0:12

Two Apples On a Rainy Sunday In the Fall

115

0:12

Dentist Having Sex

116

0:07

Panda At a Hotel

117

0:10

Birth Control Pills Telling a Little Boy Not To Eat Them

118

0:10

Cat That Doesn’t Mind

119

0:09

Male Toothpaste Being Sneaky

120

0:08

Creamy Polenta Vs. Couscous

121

0:10

Old Man’s Penis

122

0:10

Dial Tone

123

0:13

Museum That Needs To Use the Bathroom

124

0:12

Celebrity Agreeing To Take a Selfie

125

0:10

Guy Getting a Sweet Beej

126

0:12

Fire Hydrant That Doesn’t Want Anyone To Know It’s Anti-Semitic

127

0:13